5 Tips for Defending Yourself in a Work Email

Imagine this scenario: You’re settling in at the home-office, sipping your second cup of coffee and scrolling through morning emails, when you click on one that makes your heart drop. It’s your boss. A big client you manage is disappointed and unsatisfied. The finger is being pointed directly at you and your boss wants to know how you plan on fixing it. Feelings of confusion, rage, shame, even embarrassment start building up inside of you as you prepare to respond.

Even if you’ve never experienced this exact scenario, there have no doubt been times in your professional life when you feel like you need to defend yourself via email. Whether it’s a disagreement with a co-worker, a misunderstanding with a client, or being asked to explain your actions to your boss, it can be difficult to be professional and clear when you’re feeling defensive. Here are 5 tips to help you come out on top.

1. Leave Your Emotions Out Of It

This might sound like a no-brainer, but if you start typing right away, just after your emotions have boiled up to the surface, you’re almost guaranteed to leave those feelings on the page in one way or another. Take a walk, spend some time on other work or activities, or sleep on it if you have the time. It’s safer to think about responding after you’ve cooled down. If you really need to get your feelings out, put them all into a first draft (outside of your inbox) to be edited later on.

2. Keep It Short And Sweet

The more wordy an email is, the less clear it becomes. Not only that, but diving into a long, drawn-out scenario can make it seem like you’re trying to over-explain yourself. Think of it as the equivalent of blubbering out a long-winded excuse in person - nobody wants to hear it. Stick with the facts, be honest (remember it’s in writing), and be clear. Always include polite greetings and salutations that fit the situation and keep the tone professionally courteous; even (especially) if you’re writing to someone that you’re not particularly fond of. No one can argue with civility.

#3. Acknowledge The Issue

No matter how “right” you might be, there are two sides to every story. Acknowledging the experience of the other is always a step in the right direction of reconciliation. One simple sentence might be all it takes to get across your understanding. For example: “I appreciate our client’s frustration, knowing they were hoping to launch the new product at the beginning of the month.” This simple line expresses to the reader that you have thought about the issue from all sides and are willing to recognize the problem, making you seem more credible and conscientious.

#4. Offer A Solution

Now that you’ve accepted there is some kind of issue, it’s time to present a game-plan. Whether that be in the form of extending a proverbial olive-branch, an apology (if necessary), or a strategic plan to get back on track, this gesture will help the conversation progress from conflict-oriented to solution-motivated. It will also show the reader that you care about the outcome and want to do your part to help smooth things over.

#5. Suggest A Face-to-Face Meeting

As cringe-worthy as it might be to think about meeting with someone who has a grievance with you, certain situations are best worked out in person. If you feel the circumstances deserve more than just a quick explanation, or if it’s a complicated problem that isn’t easily solved, then it’s worth getting together. Even video conferencing is better than nothing.

When it comes down to it, all of us will find ourselves on the defense in a work email at some point in time. If you can stay poised, to the point, professional, and understanding, you’ll be stacking the deck in your favor. Remember, you can draw healthy boundaries by rising above pettiness and pushing the conversation in a solution-based direction. Perhaps even request to meet in person if things are getting complicated. If you’re still not ready to hit “send”, think about engaging the help of a writing consultant, like me, to get you back on track.

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